::sings:: "Come on and sit on my hot seat of love..."
Oh, yeah!!!
This is just what Kayleigh's day needed...some Freddie! LoL. Yup, and this song ("Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy") definitly is my happy song. I'm a girl...but, hey, I can still sing to it!!! qc;
Alright...enough of that. My brother's friend is over...again. I don't think he's spending the night. He has his graduation tomorrow. My brother had to lend his mom some money to pay a bill yesterday. Their dad left them pretty...well...not very well off. His mom is sick after having a lot of strokes, so...we don't mind helping them out. So, Anthony (my bro's friend) is going to get a job this summer and hopefully that will help them out more.
Anyway...my dad's return home has been delayed...again. It seems every day we're notified that it will be a month later. LoL. So, now it's November. But...at the rate it's going...it'll probably be December. So. Yeah. I had another dream last night that he came home. *sigh* Yup, it's easy to see what's on my mind.
But, I'm having a nice day. I worked really hard at the Y today...I had some old man checking me out, though. Nice. I need some nice young guys in my life. Poopers. I think that's one thing I took for granted while I was at VSA. There don't seem to be very many cute guys in this town. qc; So, ya'll at VSA...take full advantage of those Lynchburg boys! They're ten times cuter than the boys in this town. Bleck. Haha.
Oh, and back to Freddie...I was watching this Queen concert a couple days ago on a video, and when Freddie was singing "Find Me Somebody To Love" he was crying. Like, seriously...they had a close up of him at his piano, and the tears were coming down! It wasn't sweat, lovelies, those were tears! Poor darlin'. I don't think he ever found anyone... Well, I'm gonna find me a nice boy. Mmhmm. That is if I can find anyone around here under 40 who actually is interested. Haha...I hate this town. qc; I'm in a good mood, though, so don't get me wrong.
Okay...er...I don't think much else is happenin' around here. Except for the fact that I can sing again! Yay! And I'm singin' good, too! I mean, that was before I put in Freddie...I can't sing to Freddie...he hits too many crazy notes. Alright, stop yacking, Kayleigh. Gotta go. Lots of love, ya'll! (((Hugs))) *Muah!*

~*Kayleigh-boo*~

PS~ Do ya'll wanna know what's really strange? I keep waking up with this same song stuck in my head every morning: "Can't Let Go" by Mariah Carey. R-A-N-D-O-M

Hardy har
Hello everyone!
Alright, so I'm not feeling so hopeless this morning. I've made a plan:
I'm going to hold off the acting until fall because I'm just a little too...well...I dunno, I'm still a bit in shock about my sudden decision to quit ballet. So, I'm going to focus on my singing for a while (because it's been sucking really bad lately...though, hey! I just hit a nice note! Yay!). But, in the fall I'm going to start taking an acting course down in Nashville and I'll probably start auditioning for local plays. God, my life is such drag. LoL. I'm starting all over and sometimes I feel quite hopeless. LoL. But I'm feeling good today.
But, anyway, this summer I'll do my singing and besides that I'm just going to take it easy...actually have a summer! Yay! We're going to LA, so...that should be stressful enough seeing relatives. But I think I'm also going to be taking some ballet classes with my uncle. So...I'd better start stretching now! LoL.
But, anyway, I'm feeling a bit more motivated. Who cares if nobody within 500 miles cares about me! LoL. (c; Naw, I'm doing good. And in the fall I'll be meeting some people. So...that's cool.
Anyway...I'm sitting here listening to Madonna..."Vogue" at the moment, though a second ago it was "Something To Remember"...I love all of Madonna's old stuff! Man! But...her new stuff? I saw her on something and, man, girl...I don't know what's happened to ya. Though I think she's a really wise person, so she has that going for her. But they wanted her to sing Like a Virgin and she couldn't even hit notes anymore. Girl, gotta keep practicing! Don't get me wrong, I love Madonna. Yuppers. Haha...anyone who was at VSA this summer should know that...LoL..."Strike a pose." By the way...I had left a video of that in the HG lounge and it disappeared so...if anyone finds it, let me know.
Well, anyway, I'm assuming I'm off to the Y in a few, so...ttfn! ttyl! Lots of Love!

~*Kayleigh-boo*~

Lonely loser
Hey ya'll.
You know, this is terribly depressing. Do you realize that since Saturday I have felt that I don't have not one friend within 500 miles? It's the truth...I don't. And nobody in this town is accepting of who I am. Nobody. I just don't understand why this happens to me. I'm always pulled away from my friends. And I thought my SNB friends would stick by me and they didn't...so who's to say my VSA friends will always be here for me? I do believe they will, but it's just so hard leaving such good friends. I've made some of the best friends I've ever had at VSA...and I'm just scared to lose them. I really am. I think that's what's been bugging me. I miss everyone so much...and I'm so lonely, and I really didn't have a say in staying or leaving. Though, I probably would have left because I was getting along so badly. But I miss everyone so much. And even more so, it's hard being so alone and being so hated. Everyone here views me as a failure, and, sure, I don't agree with them and I'm proud of myself for becoming the person I am...but it would be so nice to have someone to reassure me that I've done the right thing. It's just so hard. I can deal with critisism...I can deal with hate...but lonliness is too damn hard.

~*Kayleigh-boo*~

PS~ The comments aren't working...so EMAIL ME INSTEAD. *Muah!*

Freakin' comments....
Alright, apparently this comment feature doesn't work! ARGI ARGI ARGI! I tried posting a comment to myself and it worked, but everyone tells me that when they try it doesn't work. ::pulls out hair:: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!! Hahaa. Okay, that just gives ya'll an excuse to email me until I figure this out. My settings SAY that it allows comments...it's just being retarded.
Alrighty...so...congrats to Roooooooo-ben. Truthfully, I was stuck...my mom voted five times for Ruben, but...I dunno...I like them both. It's good that nobody's really the bigger winner. It was practically half and half and they're both getting record deals on the same week...it's just Ruben has the title. So...all is cool.
Well, I'm gonna try to figure this comment thing out. Poopers. Lots of love!

~*Kayleigh-boo*~

Tralala!!!
'ello lovelies!
I'm feeling much better today. I got lots of sleep last night (despite the fact that I was talking in my sleep...which I've never done before. LoL) and then took a nap this afternoon. *yawn* In fact, I just woke up. But, I think I needed that. I've had a bit too much bugging me lately, so it's nice to relax.
Oh, and for the record...I had Bush. I hate him. Hate hate hate hate hate him. Fuck the fact that "he won the war". He didn't. The soldiers did. And he couldn't even decide what the reason to go over there was...first it was revenge on the 9/11 incident, then it was in search of weapons, and then, after they didn't find any, he decided it was about democracy. Yeah...sure, Bush. He has no brain. He's stupid. It took him eight years to get his bachelor degree and then the only reason he got into college was because his grandpa pulled strings for him. Otherwise he would have been screwed. Gah!!! And now he thinks he's going to take away women's rights. Alright. I'll shut up. He's just pissing me off. I'm going to move to Canada.
But, really! I'm in a fabulous mood today. My mom found out that Sandals is giving away million dollar trips to military families (and after the million dollars it's 50% off) and there are places in Florida that are doing the same thing. So...when my dad comes home we're going to florida! Which it was going to be september, but now it's been pushed to October...and my dad says it's most likely going to be December anyway. So...yeah. But, hey, Christmas in florida sounds heavenly to me. (c; I've never been, so...tralala! Oh, and then my mom is hoping to take that trip to Sandals with my dad next year for their anniversary. Yay! I want to go, so I'm jealous, but they deserve it.
Well...just thought I'd drop a note. I love ya'll! *Muah!*

~*Kayleigh-boo*~

I smell like dog, I'm sex obsessed, and it's raining...greeeaat.
Blah. As you can tell, I've had a long day, and it's only...::turns to look at clock::...5 in the afternoon. So...this will most likely be a long entry.
My voice lesson sucked today...I just couldn't get into my head voice. Of course, then, after we left and I had a nice coke with lunch, I could sing great. Hmph. And they say soda's bad for your voice. Well, it's good for me! LoL.
So, after voice lessons my mom and I went to her friend's house. She's going to start being her coach because she (my mom's friend) just found out that she's a grown woman with ADD. So, my mom's going to be her coach and keep her motivated to control it. So, we stayed there for quite some time. I said hello to their neighbor's puppy (too cute!!!) and then petted her dogs, too...and my voice teacher's dog, Ranger, was out...so...I smell like dog. But they're all such sweethearts, I don't quite mind. I've become a dog lover recently...but I'm still a cat person...I'm just a dog/cat person. I can't make up my mind.
But, anyway, we stayed there for quite sometime...them sipping their coffee, me sipping my iced tea. Then we left to run errands...and...well...I just sat in the car playing my CDs as my mom got in and out and in and out at every stop. Well...when we were stuck in traffic I was playing "Crash Into Me" by Dave Matthew's Band (ugg! I love that song...::sticks CD in to play again::) when it got to the line "Hike your skirt up a little more and show your world to me." I just casually laughed and said, "Jen hates that line." Then I went on to say that she also hates "Your Body Is a Wonderland" by John Mayer because of the one line (I didn't say the line to my mom, but for all ya'll...it's "I'll use my hands"). Well...my mom agreed...but a few moments later she said, matter of factly, "People would think you're obsessed with sex." Of course, I was dumbfound. Me? Kayleigh? Obsessed with sex? Yeah, sure. Well, to me when she says, "People would think" it crosses my mind that she feels that way...or else why would she think that. Recently she's been doing that, though...since I got home. We're visiting family in LA this summer and she casually said a couple weeks ago (on the ride home from VSA's gala), "Your aunt and uncle are probably going to think you're crazy." She took it further by saying they'd assume I'm a slut...with the low cut shirts I wear and my body language and the flirty, teasy things I say. Hmm. Now...people would tell me I'm over analyzing this, but seriously...when she says things like this she almost seems ashamed of me. I mean, like I think she's embarrassed of me and doesn't want to visit her brother because...well...let's see...they're racist homophobes, for one...and...well...anyone can see that I have too many friends that fit that criteria. And, they're really square. Their daughter can't wear makeup and she's my age, and anyone who knows me knows that I wear a heck of a lot of makeup at times. So...yeah...I agree that they won't think too highly of me, but my mom keeps bringing it up as if she doesn't like me much for it either. I told her that I don't want to be an embarrassment to anyone and she denied feeling ashamed...but today again she addressed it. Yeesh. Spend six months away from your mom and she practically forgets who you are. So...I'm just feeling really alone at the moment...again. I mean, even my mom seems to have bailed on me. I don't know...maybe I'm just grumpy...but, ya'll, she's been on me about this for a while. And I just wish she'd stop telling me that other people will think of me this way because she knows I don't care what other people think. Now, if she has a problem with me, why can't she just tell me? I dunno. I love my mom. But I feel like she doesn't trust me to some degree. She told me to kind of settle down on my talking about songs and stuff when my grandma visits...like I don't have the sense not to talk about nasty lyrics around my own grandmother!!! I'm just grumpy...but I'm not imagining things. My mom seems embarrassed of me, and that's not any fun.
Oh, and...recently an Army wife here in town died of a heart attack...in her 20s!!!...so her husbands coming home. And another wife's house was robbed. So. About the burglarism...Army wives? THAT IS WHY YOU DONT GO WRITING ON YOUR CAR THAT YOUR HUSBAND IS GONE! I mean, come on. There have been way too many rapes, thefts, murders and the sort in situations like this. Stupid guys see, "Oh, her husbands in a foreign country!" so...they buy some BDUs at some thrift store and go up to her door...make up some bull shit so that she'll let him inside, and...well...that's that. It's happened more than you know. I'm only glad my mom's smart. You see women around here with the man's full name, rank, division...EVERYTHING written on their car. Ugg. Brains, people. You're born with them. Use them. Sure, people are proud of your husband, but other people are plain creeps, so...watch yourselves.
But...I'm in a pretty good mood. I'm going to practice my singing some more today. I wrote a poem last night that I'm going to fix up...and I think I'll play some happy music, turn on my fountain, and light some candles. And ya'll know...I missed another phone call from my daddy!? He called at 5am and my mom didn't wake me up. I'm the only one who hasn't gotten to talk to him. I told her to wake me up no matter what time it was, but she didn't. Oh well. Let's just hope he calls when I'm awake next time.
But...I had a pretty nice day, considering... I petted a bunch of cute dogs, had a yummy lunch with yummy fountain coke...and...I'm ready for a nap. Heehee. I love ya'll! VSA people...seriously...call me!!! Get my number from a roomie, or someone down the hall...or something. Okay? There are no excuses! I miss ya'll. (((Hugs))) *Muah!* Take care, dahlins.

~*Kayleigh-boo*~

Daddy's still gone
I had a dream last night that my daddy came home...and then I woke up to a knock on our front door. Now...when you're thinking of your dad and it's that early in the morning, what comes to mind: chaplain. Yup. So, I was freaking out, and you couldn't know how relieved I was to hear a young woman's voice asking my mom, "Is this your cat?" So, he's still alive, we know that...but where is he? When is he coming home? We don't know. They say maybe September, but Georgie wants to keep them longer. The truth of the matter is...they don't know what the hell they're doing!!! My dad had to ask us if the fucking war was over or not! And now there are terrorists and suicide bombers over there...just bring them home, Bushie...bring them home. I'm sick of all these yellow ribbons. Every building in this town has one...and all it does is remind me that my daddy's still gone. I think this is the only town that realizes that, though. On the news the war seems a thing of the past practically. *heavy sigh* Ah well. I just want my daddy to come home. I just want him home for my birthday for once. He wasn't even there when I was born because of the Army...

~*Kayleigh-boo*~

PS ~ Has anybody been reading this???

Too bad
I told ya'll VSA buddies o' mine that I might come to graduation...it all depends. Well, it depended on whether or not my grandma came to visit...and...alas, she is. I mean, it's great she is! But it's too bad in the sense that I won't see some of you for a VERY LONG TIME!!! Audrey, we'll make plans this summer, but the rest of you...*sniffle*...kisses and hugs. Call me if you can, please. I might try to send you care packages at your summer intensive if you give me the address. I love sending packages, so...heh heh. Take full advantage of me!
Well, I'm sorry I can't see ya'll again. But keep in touch, and I hope to make some more visits to VSA next school year. Lots of love your way! *Muah!* Good night, loves.

~*Kayleigh-boo*~

Down With Love
I LOVED it...I absolutely loved it. It was strange, yes, at times...but it was fun. And fun is always good. Audrey, you have to see it! I really loved that movie and am definitly going to get it. There were so many twists, though! Just when you thought it was over...and I had to go to the loo so bad! I was dying! Oh well, I made it through alright. qc; And I really enjoyed myself.
The boys saw the Matrix and they seemed to enjoy that one. ::heavy sigh:: It's been a nice day. Not very eventful, but...nice. Oh, and I forgot to tell ya'll about the Military barbeque! Not many people came...and nobody my age...but it was nice. It was raining earlier that day, but it stopped in time. I was a bit lonely because my mom was talking to the Army wives, and my brother and his friend were talking...and the only other people were little kids...but it was nice being out in the fresh air watching the kids play. Kids are so cute. I definitly want to be a mom. I can't see myself being very strict, though. LoL...Ah well...the future will tell. I definitly want to have children, though...hee hee...and I'm sitting here listening to "Simple Kind of Life" by No Doubt. HA! That's IT! That's ME! *sigh* Someday...
So, I definitly feel better about the whole thing that happened yesterday. I think the best thing is to just forget about those people. I won't see them again, most likely...but they haven't seen the last of me! (c; Yes...I'm going to be a STAR!!! Alright...yeah...in my mind...but, hey, even if you shoot for the moon you'll land among the stars. Anything's possible if you're determined enough...and I'm a Sagittarius. All I have to do is aim, shoot, and I get what I want. (c; Too bad it's never worked with guys. qc; Haha. Ah, well. I guess that's why they're called hopeless romantics...even if I am more hopeful. There's somebody out there for me.
Well, my mom's calling me...I need some food. I love ya'll! POST SOME COMMENTS! (c; *Muah!* Lots of Love. <3

~*Kayleigh-boo*~

SUPPORT OUR TROOPS!!!

Feelin' better.
Hey ya'll.
I'm just sittin' here listening to Destiny's Child ("Brown Eyes"...love this song...*sigh*) and I got to thinking that the opinions of those people down in Nashville don't really matter at all. I mean, I knew they didn't. But after thinking, it's just kind of sunk in that I really shouldn't give a shit because they have no clue what I went through to get where I am today. But...dancing there was just another step that I took towards the person I am today. I realize why I left...and, sure, VSA didn't work out, but that was yet another step. Some people may say that was a waste of money and time, but I definitly don't think it was. For one, I learned so much about life and about myself (with the help of a counselor and a handful of friends). And, also, I made some many friends at VSA, and a few of them I'm sure will stick with my for the rest of my life. I just don't feel like playing that game anymore...I'm not a failure or a quitter and when I was a dancer I was pretty damn good...but it just wasn't my thing. I wish people could accept that, and it's too bad that some can't, but that's their problem. I'll do just fine without them. And who were they? Just an old pas partner and some little pre-teen girls. Sometimes, I've realized, it's okay to grow away from people. And that's exactly what happened. I used to fit right in with them, but I left and became the person I am today, and I know what I'm doing with my life, and I know who I am. So...their opinion really doesn't matter. My family supports me in my decisions, and my close friends have stuck by me...and I realized I've been really blessed with some great friends. Sure, they live 500 miles away, but I love them unconditionally, and they care about me, and that's all I need. Maybe I don't have anyone in my town to call a friend, but I'm close with my family and we're getting along fine...and all you boos of mine at VSA, thank you so much for being so supportive and for sticking by me. Really, it means so much. It's been hard and it's taken a lot of courage to do this...and maybe my old SNB friends don't care about me anymore, but you VSA darlings will always be here for me, and that means so much to me. *Muah!* (((Hugs))) Call me sometime, though. I miss ya'll.

~*Kayleigh-boo*~